I need a third option that doesn't run on batteries

[Scarlette Spider]

I'm bisexual because I don't like limiting my options. Most men my age are either boring, or want someone half our age and not a real woman. Most women at any age are secretly psycho and you don't find out what kind until waaaay too late. So if women are psycho and men are overgrown adolescents, I need a third option that doesn't run on batteries.

Does what I want/need even exist? Over 40, intelligent, witty, stable, attractive, doesn't have to have washboard abs or built like a supermodel but not more than 25 pounds overweight either, and a Bohemian of some sort. When I was younger I didn't think I was asking for the impossible, but I'm beginning to think this person I have in mind is just a myth.

They don't have to be perfect, but some major character flaws I can do without. I have a T-shirt that puts it perfectly..."I'm still looking for Ms. Nearly Right. I already found Mr. Cheap and Mr. Lazy"